Only rarely are we the masters of events, but we are responsible for our reactions . . . Suffering is never beneficial in itself, and must always be fought against. What counts is the way a person reacts in the face of suffering. That is the real test of a person: A positive, active, creative reaction which will develop a person, or a negative one that will stunt them.
Looking backward at pain by asking the question “Why?”, really doesn’t take you anywhere. Instead, it raises the very different, forward-looking question, “What did I learn?”
Do you think that we are put on earth to merely satisfy our desires, to pursue life, liberty and happiness?
Pleasure sometimes emerges against a background of pain, evil may be transformed into good, and suffering may produce something of value.
Martin Luther King, Jr., for example, deliberately sought out the meanest southern sheriffs for his scenes of confrontation. He accepted beatings, jailings, and other brutalities because he believed a complacent nation would rally around his cause only when they saw the evil of racism in its ugliest extreme.
The principle that operates on large scale in someone like King also pertains to the “littlest people” like you. Suffering can provide an opportunity for growth that will add extra layer of depth to life. Has pain or suffering ever accomplished something similar in you?
Dr. Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist, learned through his own imprisonment at Auschwitz Prison Camp during the Holocaust that human life does not have meaning and individuals have an inherent freedom that cannot be smothered even in the inhumane camp conditions. His conclusions summarizes the experience of many inmates:
The experiences of camp life show that man does have a choice of action. There were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed. Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress…everything can be taken from man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way….
In the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone. Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him—mentally, and spiritually.
After undergoing such monstrosity, how can anyone begin living again? Can words like hope, happiness, and joy regain meaning? How can anyone speak of the character-building value of suffering?
“Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”
When a couple encounters a crisis, it magnifies what’s already present in the relationship.
Think of some people you know who have been through crisis. How did it affect their relationships with family and friends?
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