21 Two Friends

Pain and Suffering to continue next week.

TWO FRIENDS

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.
 
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH.

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE.

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE OTHER FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

20 I Will Not Die an Unlived Life

We will continue Pain and Suffering after the holidays, but until then here is something for you to think about.

I will not die an unlived life.

I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.

I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, make me less afraid, more accessible.

To loosen my HEART until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise.

I choose to risk my significance, to live.

So that which came to me as seed, goes to the next as blossom.

And that which came to me as blossom goes on as fruit.

19 Pain & Suffering #3

Only rarely are we the masters of events, but we are responsible for our reactions . . . Suffering is never beneficial in itself, and must always be fought against.  What counts is the way a person reacts in the face of suffering.  That is the real test of a person: A positive, active, creative reaction which will develop a person, or a negative one that will stunt them.

Looking backward at pain by asking the question “Why?”, really doesn’t take you anywhere.  Instead, it raises the very different, forward-looking question, “What did I learn?”    

Do you think that we are put on earth to merely satisfy our desires, to pursue life, liberty and happiness?

Pleasure sometimes emerges against a background of pain, evil may be transformed into good, and suffering may produce something of value.  

Martin Luther King, Jr., for example, deliberately sought out the meanest southern sheriffs for his scenes of confrontation.  He accepted beatings, jailings, and other brutalities because he believed a complacent nation would rally around his cause only when they saw the evil of racism in its ugliest extreme.  

The principle that operates on large scale in someone like King also pertains to the “littlest people” like you.  Suffering can provide an opportunity for growth that will add extra layer of depth to life.  Has pain or suffering ever accomplished something similar in you?

Dr. Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist, learned through his own imprisonment at Auschwitz Prison Camp during the Holocaust that human life does not have meaning and individuals have an inherent freedom that cannot be smothered even in the inhumane camp conditions. His conclusions summarizes the experience of many inmates:

 

The experiences of camp life show that man does have a choice of action.  There were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed.  Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress…everything can be taken from man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way….

In the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone.  Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him—mentally, and spiritually.

After undergoing such monstrosity, how can anyone begin living again? Can words like hope, happiness, and joy regain meaning?  How can anyone speak of the character-building value of suffering?

“Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”

When a couple encounters a crisis, it magnifies what’s already present in the relationship.  

Think of some people you know who have been through crisis.  How did it affect their relationships with family and friends?

18 Pain & Suffering #2

Pain, guilt, fear, loneliness are enemies that we avoid but can prove valuable to us.  Which have been enemies for you?  Have you learned to use them for your gain?

Though some people stay mercifully free of acute physical pain, everyone has a form of suffering that will not go away: a personality flaw, a broken relationship, an unhealed childhood memory, a suffocating guilt.  To understand suffering we must step away and look full in the face of agonized human beings.

What about the side effects of pain as it grinds down the soul toward despair and hopelessness?

When you have suffered, has it made you conscious of a different set of values in life?

“Pain is like fertilizer.  It stinks when you’re around it, and you hate it.  But after a while you realize that despicable stuff provided the nutrients for your growth.”  Do you agree?

Quite simply, a quality like perseverance will only develop in the midst of trying circumstances.  Think about it: a person who always gets what he or she wants has no chance to learn perseverance, or patience.  Suffering can be of the tools to help fashion those good qualities.

The value lies not in the pain itself, but in what we can make of it.

Think of people who are in the midst of suffering.  Describe how they have responded to suffering.  Discuss some who are handling it destructively and some who are coping constructively.  What makes the difference?

The suffering person faces choices.  They can recoil in anger and despair or they can accept the trial as an opportunity for joy.

Finish the folowing quote with your own thoughts.

  Pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the 

HEART until .......